Being in the Moment.
Right now all is really fantastic. I am still in bed, writing, drinking coffee. Chickens are out and fed. My morning chores attended to and I feel very peaceful. I am here in this moment, right now.
I have a long list of things to do today and that is ok. I will attend to them…when it is time.
I used to live only in the past and future. Always in such a hurry to get out of right here, right now. But more and more, life seems to exist for me only in the now. My future tripping or past jaunts are passing by the way side as my life seems to be more and more consumed by the present moment. I love this even though at times it is a little unsettling. I find that I am sometimes so consumed by my current moment that I am forgetting things, that my attention is so focused on the here and now that I lose track of what I am supposed to be doing next. I have almost missed a couple of appointments lately because I was so entrenched in what I was doing. And this is progress for me.
Before I was always so conscious of the clock and the time, that I started worrying about being late before I was even close to the time. It disrupted my ability to be present, I would then sit idle waiting for everyone else to join the fray. Now I am pulling back those previously wasted minutes, and showing up on time. It is amazing how much time you get back when you are not so preoccupied with being early.
What I have felt recently is that this current moment is all that I really need and being present deepens my appreciation and presence in my life. I have had two wonderful nights in a row with my kids. Two! No fighting, neither of them competing for my attention. We all just spent time together and no one’s feelings got hurt, not even mine! And I have to think that at least a little part of that was my willingness to just set aside the laundry or my agenda or schedule and be present for them and what they wanted. I have to say that I am sure that I got the greater gift in the last two nights. I got to be with two of my favorite people and really felt the love.
How appropriate that I am feeling the love more and more as Valentine’s Day fast approaches this Sunday. A holiday that I have historically and uncategorically hated, I am actually looking forward to even though I am single and it will be a non-event for me. I am feeling the love this year if only for myself and my kids.
And like everything else in my life, it has all started with me showing up present, willing and open to what each new moment brings without getting all tangled up in my self. I never knew that being in the moment gave such great access to feeling love and loved. I am going to keep going, staying right here, right now, allowing each moment to come, teach me what I need to know and release it one moment at a time.