I am so grateful he came home last night. I was so worried that his deceptive skills got better and he hatched a plan to runaway without me even noticing. Then I thought he stole his ebike and planned on selling it. I will likely never know why he took…

As in alcoholism… what is the ism really? I heard someone say that “ism” stood for “internal spiritual malady”. And that resonated with me. It is amazing to me that I spent so much of my young life searching for a spiritual solution: churches, religions, spiritual books and ideas, philosophy…

The cat is out of the bag, no police were called so that is good. He is refusing to go but there is a lot of real estate between now and next week. The biggest obstacle for him is really now, me. I waver. I feel sorry. I allow my…

I feel it. I have to deliver some really bad news to someone today and it feels like too much. I know I have to do it. But I really, really don’t want to. I am scared of their response, scared that my guilt will cause me to give in…

I am tired of writing about parenting. It is not my favorite topic. I just want to write about other things that I think about but parenting is all consuming right now, it is like a giant boulder in my path that I cannot evade, get around or change. It…

I am there. My son’s return home is not going well at all. He is almost back to where he was last August. I am $100k poorer and he is flailing all over again. It is only a matter of time before things are critical again. I do not have…

I think… I am trying. It has been a hell of a week. I don’t think I have been this emotionally distraught in a very long time. Thank you to all of you who expressed concern, offered support and reached out. It has been really hard and my ability to…

I ran away today. Not that you have even noticed, at least not for awhile. I have felt like running away since you were little. Small tiny beings that needed me so much it felt like I would be eaten up and left with nothing. But I didn’t. I never…

Ok I stole that title with a little modification from Carrie Fisher…it is a great fucking title. And I am there, on the edge. Pushed here by the children I gave birth to. Living a life that is more like a warden than a mother. Seeing that my children really…